All ideas have a birthplace. Most often, an idea is the copulation of other ideas, formed by other ideas, formed by ideas passed on from other ideas created by other people, and so forth. If we were to examine where our thoughts and ideas come from, we might see something in the shape of an iceberg. Poking up above the surface is the top of the iceberg, the surface level of what we see, believe, and know. Closer to the water, there might be some obvious underlying information. Where do our ideas and ideals come from? As the iceberg deepens we see more layers to ideas. We get our ideas from our parents, our schooling, our communities, our towns, our counties, states, countries, cultures, music, entertainment, media, heritage, family values, mental illness, trauma, and so much more. Each layer takes us below the surface of the water, bringing the iceberg deeper and deeper until it reaches another point below the surface. Nothing is what it seems on the surface. When we want to examine the idea of masculinity and the many ideas within the idea of masculinity, we have to recognize that masculinity as an idea, a stigma, a stereotype, and identity, is an iceberg with complexities, layers, and depth.
Masculinity comes from thousands upon thousands of years of programming, conditioning, and ingraining beliefs of who the male is, who the male is supposed to be, and what the male does. Expectations, methods of survival, and much more have consistently contributed to the development of the male identity and the entire idea of masculinity. Time, culture, history, and changing ideals have shifted and shaped the idea of masculinity over time, across the globe. What one country and culture considers to be masculinity may not be the same as the other. Even within one country, one state, one province, one municipality, masculinity may take on different forms.
Sometimes called ‘toxic’ sometimes called ‘healthy’, the idea of masculinity follows and sometimes plagues the male. He may feel as though he is not living up to the standards that his perceived notion of masculinity dictates to him. When men enter treatment for drug and alcohol addiction, they have the chance to define masculinity for themselves, redefine what it means to be a man by deciding upon the kind of man they want to be, for themselves. Masculinity is no longer an idea created outside of themselves but one created within themselves.
There is no time like the present for making a change that will change your life. Tree House Recovery offers a character-building program for men seeking freedom from addiction. Call us today for information on our Orange County location: (855) 202-2138