Connecting to Femininity as a Man

In the psychology of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, he saw the split between male and female traits, the tendency for society to socialize the feminine in females and the masculine in males, and the problem that arises in the individual who does not integrate their contra-sexual components. When looking at the issue of connecting with femininity as a male, it is advantageous to understand Jung’s conception because although he did allocate certain aggressive traits to men, and more compassionate traits to women, he saw these qualities as universal that were representative of the whole individual. Holding the perspective of the integration of one’s femininity as invaluable to the process of attaining wholeness allows men to more easily digest the necessity of this quality. When man falls too deeply into identifying with his biological maleness, it necessarily decreases the perceived value of the female and often manifests itself in anger and even rage toward traditionally feminine aspects of being.

It is imperative that we understand what we are choosing not to integrate when we resist the feminine. We leave ourselves susceptible to a stunted evolution with respect to such crucially important qualities such as empathy, compassion, kindness, humility, and patience. From Jung’s perspective, the traditionally male and female qualities are only separate to the degree we allow ourselves to perceive these traits as mutually exclusive to each sex. Think of it in this manner: there is a sum total of positive human qualities that would be extremely beneficial if we could incorporate them all within us as living, breathing organisms. Think of each quality, whether traditionally male or female, as having intrinsic value in themselves. Imagine that we had access to an arsenal of every positive trait that we could acquire. Now, would we leave some of these traits behind due to the fact that society has deemed them “girly”? Put in that context, of course we wouldn’t! It makes the most sense to integrate the most amount of positive qualities, regardless of how they are traditionally viewed, in order to become the most complete and whole human being that we have the capacity to become. If we become heavily reliant on traditionally male traits, we become psychologically and emotionally lopsided, and this can manifest itself in various ugly ways. Let’s rethink the way we view femininity as men in order to gain a deeper understanding of the invaluable nature of these traits, and incidentally, let’s put them into action, and do so proudly!

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