unconfident man

Confidence Is What You Show

Most topics that are discussed in the context of addiction recovery take a long time to unpack, and often, even longer to delineate methods in which to apply to help address the topics at hand. What we are going to look at today is not one of those topics; today we are looking at how to convey confidence externally. Fortunately for all of us, displaying confidence can actually be learned relatively quickly and without much effort. Although it may sound oversimplified, exhibiting confidence can be achieved merely through its embodiment. In other words, we can make a conscious decision to be confident, and we can translate that to others by the way we walk, talk, and compose ourselves.

It is often said that confidence is our best outfit, and the first place we can start to “wear” this outfit is in our posture. Standing tall, placing our shoulders back, and walking with our heads high signifies confidence, but also signifies competence and transmits signals to others that says, “this person knows their capabilities, is confident in those capabilities, and conducts themselves in a manner that demands respect”. Beyond our posture and walk, we can also look at the way we tend to use language and formulate sentences. We want to remove qualifiers from our speech which essentially means that when we make a point, we make it strong and we don’t waiver or provide more clarification or justification than is necessary. With different reasons as to why one might qualify a point, we can simply try to remove phrases such as “um”, “I feel like”, and “I’m not an expert but…”. If we are not certain of our point, we can be patient and rethink it in order to save for a later time, however, if we are going to make a point, we need to convey it strongly, with confidence, and with assurance. The removal of these qualifying remarks in our daily language, in and of itself, can drastically change the way people perceive our level of confidence. Finally, and maybe the easiest of all the suggestions here, is the need to appear well put together. This doesn’t mean that we ought to spend $3000 on an Armani suit, but our clothing is a representation to the external world that reflects how we see ourselves. If we are confident in ourselves we are going to ensure that our clothes are clean, ironed, and fitting appropriately. If we can live by one simple adage that will help deliver us from having low self-esteem into an air of confidence is this: “Fake it until you make it”, because eventually, you will make it,

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